repent

you dance over me,
i do not see it.
you sing besides me,
i cannot hear it.
you cry me a river,
i won't thread on it.
you send arrows of famine,
we cannot digest it.
you let's the earth tremble,
we cannot fathom.
you shook the core of the ocean,
we do not realize.
you labour the pain of birth,
we cannot comprehend.
you try to atone us,
we fail to reach the pent.

and you say "it is all done."

Lord I'm amazed by you.

耕耘

我举头仰望，视野无止的扩宽，心境无涯的伸展。
我寻不着思绪的扣引，探不及心渊的底限，踏出的每一伐如墨里寻髪，迷失。

我攀越登嶺，涉及未央的青亩，参透莫及的蓝郁。
我探不及心渊的底限，寻不着思绪的扣引，伸去的每一探如沙里寻盐，窒息。

然而，似苍鹰般锐若，钢般臂胳一举高升，透彻蚕厚错纵乱絮，一股清新如深苁莹露。

深深触动身灵。

我悟及你的领引，诲导，提挽，你的爱无底可触。

种子已经播散萌芽，

神，

助我耕耘。

stupidity

in the beginning everything was quaint and simple. God intended it to be that way, adam and eve in the garden of eden, immaculate and holy.

the seed of wisdom creeps in, and then human fell, from the most honorable and intelligent to the lowest tier of entire earth lifeforms.

my orchid in the balcony tells me, you only want some fresh and cold air, all you need to do is live in the abundant foliage used to surround you, why do you need to reinvent artificial cool breeze that deforest the earth.

the sparrow in the sky chirps to me, you only want a cosy and comfortable place to rest in, why do you need to invade our space and pile up colossus concrete that none of you ever feel warm and secure in it.

the guppy in my lotus pond swims restlessly, you only need sufficient catch that will feeds your family, why do you need to create an enterprise to wipe out our species.

and then the monkey family were crossing their arms, and they say:

oh please, don't even plot us as one of your evolution milestone, we do not believe in evolution and we do not want to be associated with human being. in all the million years of our existence, we have never encountered such a low lifeforms on earth.

my baby came and ask me, the human needs to communicate to each other, all they need to do is walk to each other and talk, why do they need to use the latest iphone 3gs?

the human only need to eat like we do, why do they need to toil so hard fight so hard race so hard prove so hard and end up eating all the super healthy food that eventually cripple them?

the human only wants to feel happy like we do, why do they need to create so much, invent so much, indulge so much, induce so much? why can't they just swing from one branch to another and be as contented as we are?

why do they feel so proud and so happy and so boastful in digging so many graves and traps, and they willingly jump into them.

mom, why are human so ..... stupid.

"for with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." Ecclesiastes 1:18

tis the season of thanksgiving....

Christmas is stepping in again, all the jolly and cheers, headless chooks throng shopping malls with merry written all over the face, forgetting about economy downturn, forgetting about thrift temporary.

The other end of town there are poker faces walking soulessly, going on with their daily chores, some painstakingly, some with worry written all over, some wondering when is next meal....
There are so many needy hands reaching out to us for a share of warmth and joy, many times we will just walk away, subconsciously assuming they are only a bunch of lazy pretends, but then again, how well do we know about their stories?

I'm committing the same judgmental act, a lot of time have to remind ourselves to not judge the heart by its appearances, giving is unconditional, there won't be any sincerity gauge on their forehead to guide us if we should give or not, hence, just give!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

lose my soul

is ok, don't worry too much about it, everyone does it, hence you reckon is fine to...

indulge in lust filled enjoyment,
explore untapped power of the unknown realm in the air,
utter meaningless vulgarities to express your frust,
inhaling "uplifting" substance to enter the trance,
mutilating your mortal shell in the name of vanity,
cover your shame with layers of catwalk produce to trade envied stares,
sway in deafening and dreamy ambience,
live life to the fullest non apologetic to anything.

and what i reckon is......

i don't wanna gain the whole world and lose my soul.

whats your new year's revelation?

7When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" 8I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.

and i look at the hungry mouths to be fed, but worry about what's my dinner going to be, and i look at the tormented child dying of fatal disease, but worry about my acne scars on the face.

9When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. 10They called out in a loud voice, "How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" 11Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and brothers who were to be killed as they had been was completed.

and we carelessly utter worthless babbler to Him, but hope to be heard and delivered, and we collect our blessings store and lock in the dungeon of our life, but do not share the love.

12I watched as he opened the sixth seal. There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, 13and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as late figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. 14The sky receded like a scroll, rolling up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place.

and we watch man made catastrophe as if it is course of nature, but not able to fathom things to come, and we live in comfort thinking world will takes care of itself, but fail to comprehend the word.

15Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. 16They called to the mountains and the rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! 17For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?"

and we marvel and stand in awe of mortal figures that compromise our believe, but cannot see signs right before our eyes.

so what's your new year's revelations? are you still too caught up with earning first million of your life, climbing the highest peak in the world, driving the fastest wheels, buying the latest fashion labels on piece on garment manufacture in a deprived nation?

when will we ever learn?

free.........

i see the morning glory unveils, i see the serenity settles.
you leave your legacy all over the place, your signatures on all living beings.

i walked alone on the street, remembering sweet gesture others have bestowed on us, remembering betrayal others have lay upon us, remembering bitterness that seeped to the soul, remembering courages that propelled us, remembering foolishness that stumbled us, all these intertwined and seems overwhelming but yet there's an unexplainable symphony to it.

i see friends char by unfruitful relationships, i see people wails over lost possessions, i see friends turn on each other's back, i see people hopelessly devoted to idols, i see friends worship monogrammed luxury, i see people stand in awe of grand structures, i see friends losing themselves in woven misery....and worst of all, i see myself in all these.

set us free, let us flee to your eternal embrace. pick us from all these direness, from all these colossus structures that will be turned into worthless rubbles. teach us to see with your eyes, teach us to listen with your wisdom, teach us to touch with your hands, teach us to reach-out with your grace.

teach us to hate with your love, teach us to kill with your healing, teach us to lie with your truth, teach us to weep with your joy.

teach us to be on guard, teach us to reap your abandon harvest.

i see your grace all over, i see your love interleaving the hatreds, i see your hands scoping us up, i see your tears washing away the gray.

i see the omnipotent, i see three person that i admired the most, father, son and holy ghost.

please help us to help others to see.

because it is beautiful.

because it is eternal.

conversation with love...

chimagan: i'm distraught.....

love: what's the matter son?

chimagan: i don't understand people in this world, they raised banner of love so high up, they immersed themselves in cocktails of commercial products of made believe love, they parade in so-called agape love and embraced everyone..... and yet.....when it comes to people closest to them, the attitude and intention is otherwise.

love: is common dear, outwardly shown love is deemed to be more glorifying and satisfying, is the fallen nature of the race, most of the time they do not have a clue of what they are doing, but just for the sake of self gratification. my name is been abused and misused to a pathetic state, i'm just waiting for the creator to right the wrong once and for all....

chimagan: why do people like to chase after the wind, chase after the perishables and at the end of the day, they will go back home to search through their deep hollow, and can't seems to find you...

love: shift your focus, don't fret, don't worry about what others do or do not, it is not important. i know you are hurt, hurled, confused and tired, take refuge in the solid rock, the rock that will never shake, place your confident on the right place. do not be a hypocrite to criticise others while you repeat the same mistake, embrace them and change them, bring yourself up to a higher level.

chimagan: is so hard....

love: is a journey, everyone is learning. don't compete with the world and raise your expectation. humble yourself and start with your closest ones, your family. you have to understand the meaning of unconditional, i never promise it will be easy, but you have to unload your burden and stop thinking you could carry it all, you have to share what seems to be unshareable, you have to give what seems to be ungiveable, you have to forgive what seems to be unforgiveable.


chimagan: i will keep walking the journey and reach for the light at the end of the tunnel.

Jehovah Jireh!

what desparate world we lives in, we choose to believe in pure coincidents for our blessings and curses, and totally ignore the great divine that put us in the world...



"I see the morning glory, It winds upon the tree, It tells the untold story of how things were meant to be

You saw the universe, Caught up in desperate dreams, You came and changed the ending, Changed it to save my fate
You led the revolution, You left your legacy, Embraced the struggle, in the face of mortality, I know I'm not alone in this, Help me believe

I can be free from this place
Beautiful Healer, Beautiful Grace
Help me to see, Everything fall into place, Wake me from dreaming, No more deceiving, Break these chains

It's still the same old story, This great divide, Between the want and waste, And all the hunger inside
I heard the news today, Now I'm trying to find my place, I'm just a single voice, What can i do to erase

All this misunderstanding, All this anarchy, Six degrees of separation, Sometimes it's so hard to see
That we are not alone in this, I need to believe" *

*beautiful verses from "Free", Corrine May.

Picture: Mount Cook from freeway, New Zealand. 2001