阿母, 辛苦了吧, 这么多年, 你还是孳孳不倦的倾注无止境的溺爱. 少年时的无知往往让步我们错失严母疾言厉色背后的心疼和期望. 你的唠叨往往成为我们叛逆的借口, 青稚的心态只懂得寻求自我享欲, 完全无发理会你的出发点, 完全不去体会你的感受, 我们只懂得所谓青春的权力. 还记得居住于国外日子时, 心里才慢慢的眷恋似是无止的唠叨. 也许人最大的缺点是不知足, 必须等到失去了才能懂得珍惜. 每当回国过节时, 你的心情像似约会久违亲爱的人, 欢欣无发压抑. 有太多的事必须向你学习. 你忘我的付出, 你咬紧牙根的耕耘, 你无休止的呵昈. 你自愿的担架千斤重的儿女债, 可有还清的日子? 世上所谓轰轰烈烈, 至死不逾的情爱, 可否与你所付出的比较, 我想还不及十份一吧? 阿母, 谢谢你 阿母, 我爱你.
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Sometimes it occurs to me that I could never repay the debt of my parents, even if they asked of no such things from me.
Sometimes I'm guilt laden, not just because I've been away mostly away from them due to studies and work commitment, and cannot attend to their needs in their old age; but also because as a gay son (and not yet out to them), the level of regrets could just be too much for anyone of us to bear, "right"or otherwise.
Sometimes I wanted to question "lord"", as a non-Christian, whether these are all a form of test, of sorts, in making me a "better" person, in Her eye.
So whilst I'm still sorting things out, and waiting for "lord
to find me - I'll continue to be a good person, whichever defined, the only way I know how.
Yours, -- Ken (cafe_au_lait54 at hotmail dot com)
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